The Conquerors Of Man

Charles, long ago, created Eve from a spare rib that he had swallowed whole from a ghetto Chinese food take-out place. Since then she's been trying to get back at him. Without restraint, Eve has been attempting to turn the tables on Charles and make him into what he is not. Eve on her lonesome is awesome; she is movin' and groovin' and doin' her thing. However, when entangled with Charles she becomes the Wisteria vine, strangling Charles at his trunk. Her free spirited nature gives way to the careening need to alter Charles... to make him chuck.

Through the years, Eve has honed her game. She has enlightened her 'sisters' and given them the tools to wrangle the Charleses and Bobbyses of their time. "CHANGE!" Eve proclaims, "That is the secret! CONVERSION!" Her minions populate the Earth and have inundated the multitudes of bar crowds, co-eds, and post college spinsters. Charles, although resilient, is not immune to the spells cast by this she-army.
The Eveian Handbook was recently unearthed under a banquette at a SoHo wine bar and the following text has been released;

"Eve advises that you begin communication through rough drinking and binge sex. Lull Charles into a euphoric drunken state where all he wants is to sleep and shower... and copulate. Be good and interesting and tell him that he's special or "The Most Special." Rapidly become obsessed, but make yourself as useful to Charles as possible; cook dinner, dish out the oral, tell funny stories to his friends, and - most importantly - act like nothing bothers you. And once he has made it clear that he is not infiltrating anyone else, freak out. Tell him about his faults, tell him he's not good enough and that you deserve better. Tell him that he is full of himself and you don't understand why people like him so much. Tell him that he's lucky to have you. Tell him that you're tired and you don't want to have sex with him until he understands how poorly he's been treating you. Then, when his head is turned inside out and around, cry and make him feel bad."

Unfortunately for all the Bronsons out there, we are defensless. We cannot defend ourselves against such overt and calculated measures being taken against our manhood and rockitood.

History repeeats itself and people can't change themselves... however, as many times as a Charles meets an Eve, he will fall for her tricks. And only two trails of flame and bile lead away from the car wreck of their union. The first leaves a Bronson lamer, compromised, and altered. The second leaves a Bronson seathing, righteous, and sad.