Fireside Bronson

Q: Is this a Charles Bronson fansite?
A: Yes.

Q: Who is Charles Bronson again? That action guy with the stache, right?
A: He is. But, since he is RIP, we now assume the moniker Charles Bronson with extreme creative license. Our Charles Bronson is both tribute and expansion. And by expansion, I mean what you think I mean.

Q: Ok, what does Charles Bronson do?
A: Reads. Writes. Drinks Jameson. Shoots the three. Listens to Lyle Lovett. Quotes Roger Dodger. Worships Hunter S.. Is the best damn teacher in the bar.. Acts in motion pictures. Fights injustice. Watches a porno and uses the dialogue in casual conversation. Disregards the impulse to use irony. Does it all anyway..

Q: What is the definition of irony anyway? I can never get that shit straight.
A: When an action's meaning becomes the opposite of its literal intention.

Q: Wow, how late are we staying out tonight?
A: Till we're done. Give me your watch.

Q: Who is Big Time Bobby?
A: He is an heir of Teiresias and the son of Peleus. He is both Oedipal soothsayer and Homeric superhero. If you swoon over his posts (as most are wont to do) and wish to experience the glory firsthand (as most are wont to do), just breeze to the end of Easy Street where you will find BTB sunning and funning with your girlfriend.. . .

Q: Where do you all find your inspiration?
A: At the bottom of the glass and betwixt maidens' sheets.

Q: Why can't I understand any of the posts?
A: If you have an education and a sense of humor, your comprehension should be knife through butter. However, if you are at all sensitive, pc, ignorant, racist, republican, and/or sober, the multi-valenced meanings and hidden allusions will stymie your enrichment, courtesy of Your Charles Bronson.

If you still don't get the posts, I suggest you email Andrew Delbanco, Julian Clarence Levi Professor in the Humanities at Columbia University: ad19@columbia.edu. He is an acclaimed Melville and Bronson scholar. His works include, The Puritan Ordeal, The Death of Satan, Melville: His World and Work as well as his most recent, O Bronson My Bronson: A Guide to Chicks and Blogs.

Q: Where is the Bronson headquarters?
A: Yogi's. 76th and Broadway. Although neither BTB nor myself lives in NYC anymore, if you enter said establishment, you will experience the signature low hang beer musk out of which our posts emanate.

Q: Wow, why do you write so weird?
A: Someone has to decipher the elliptical, raving truth for the common Bronse.

Q: Aren't you really just making up your own myth? Isn't this all total bullshit?
A: Yes and no. Do you believe? I have seen the midwayman of physics and philosophy, of blasphemy and sacrament, of drunk and really drunk, of teacher of the year and teacher of the century and his name is Charles Bronson. Do you feel better knowing that someone like that exists? I know I do, because it's me.