What is the Best?

Once every five years a list is compiled that defines "The best" in every genre/niche/variation and that list is what follows. Think of it as a fortythree-step program to transcendence. Print it out, get a red pen, and start crossing off because we all know this world is sinister and vexing but to experience, and then recognize, and then categorize life's Joycean epiphanies, not only gives them creedence, but gives them currency. So here they are free of charge, and in particular order...

What is the Best?

Being drunk and ready to drink.

Flirting with the Ethiopian ambassador's wife.

Angry Wade's popcorn (bartenders).

Fake bling piercings from Claire's.

Culture Club outfits.

Pierre as Ron Burgundy at Bender I.

Blacksmith Shop piano legends.

Flor de Mayo on birthdays.

McSorely's at noon.

Hartshone Woods.

My jumper at the buzzer.

My Charles Bronson.

The wedding band following you out to the bar after the reception.

Fireside Midleton in northern MN.

Snow Day hospital visits

Summertime cornrows.

An American Dream by Norman Mailer

ShanesApartment.com

Cilantro margaritas

Lounge 68 jukebox

Ugly sweaters.

Tao on absinthe.

Brother Jimmy's poetry

"If I had a boat" at Yogis

Olbermann at 8

Hunter S. in his prime.

barnapkin roses.

K-town karaoke.

Sheep's Meadow long toss,

Kissing booths.

Bourbon Street dance parties

To-go packs/Party favors.

Uncle Rich's Boat.

Barber Shop Hour.

Roger Dodger.

Movies about gladiators.

Tom Brady.

Success Rice.

Other people's tabs.

Borrowed Barstools.

Yogi's payphone.

Hang-Clean/Press.

Bonefest.

The sound of an inflating Aerobed.