The Heighth of Bronson Fashion

Recently I (Charles the Bronse) had a six week beard, and then, to the chagrin of many Bronsons (especially those envisioning my Marx-like bookjacket photos), I shaved it. This act, which destroyed two razors and clogged my sink, was met by rising cries of antipathy among the inner circle. So let me explain and then refute.

The Bronson look is an outward expression of an inward will to rock. It is long, shaggy hair. It is stubble for days. It is cavorting in the most florid of thriftstore suits. It is meant to show all your worldly insouciance viz. your supreme knowledge that the world holds very few truths, and those truths are sacred and universal, and do not include the cultural tyranny of fashion or beauty. Basically, you look unabashedly like a strangely dressed man letting himself go, which garners fear and loathing from the normative multitude for your audacity to not care about what you are "supposed" to care about, namely the shorn/khaki charade ubiquitous at colleges and bars and businesses everywhere. The Bronson look is rogue and it is meant to point out the transparency of conformity.

Someone may ask: how can this floppy haired teacher who hasn't shaved for days and is wearing a 70's leisure suit be smarter, more confident, and a bigger chick magnet than me? But that questioning person already knows the answer, that you are an arbiter of some sort of truth that is lacking when he looks at commercials feeling want or goes to work feeling vacant, or looks in the mirror feeling incomplete. A Bronson's very presence exposes what he covets - the burgeoning confidence to flow along gracefully with the evening.

However, there is something dishonest about this. Dowdy appearances together with rapier wit and charm is more about them than it is about Your Bronson. Looking like a Bronson is about exposing the hypocrisy of others by showing them their status quo is simply inadequate, and perhaps much of what they value is meaningless. Granted, that does make a Bronson feel good sometimes, but it is slightly mean and pointless. A Bronson already possesses the truth and the gusto of rock, so rather than peacock it to the embarrassment of others, why not use it to his advantage to disseminate the rock throughout this increasingly falsified society?

Much of the time teaching is socializing students for the "real world" where they must conduct themselves "professionally" during "job interviews." That includes speaking correctly, reasoning intelligibly, and dressing appropriately. The powerbrokers of this world (and their ambitious minions) need reassurance of one's propensity to conform as "part of the team" and not feel threatened by wayward appearances/language/ideas that exist outside the bounds of what is "appropriate." So, Your Bronson in his natural state ("bummed" out) will not rise in the ranks of power in this world. He is too threatening and is therefore vulnerable to judgment and dismissal.

Consider this: a well-dressed Bronson is potent. He can infiltrate the monied hierarchy from within and affect greater change than just his previous distillation of unease amongst the bar crowd and his unprecedented knowledge-onslaught on thirty classroom students. Simply, the Bronson look originates from self-confidence manifest from a distinct morality (i.e. getting five more minutes of sleep before teaching Bronx kids is more important than waking up and shaving), and that self-confidence can never be diminished, no matter the outside appearance.

So, the Bronson shaves and cuts his hair. He buys a comb and a nice pair of pants. He sits across from the bluesuit in the windowoffice smug, angling for a high-level job, money for a project, or an opportunity in front of the camera. And once that is procured, a Bronson will begin to order the world around a vision simply by being uncompromisingly, gracefully himself. Soon, the bs will be trimmed like the fat, and increasing portions of America will be fit again, enough to see itself for who it really is and what it can be. Only then should a Bronson grow a beard.